5:43 am. Child not sleeping. crying in other room. husband has tried to put her back down repeatedly. I have already fed/sang her back to sleep twice this night too. Monday morning. One paper and poster due by thursday. Leaving for Mexico on Friday for an ill-timed destination wedding which my husband is in the wedding party for. Forget about the other paper. Still annotating data for paper 1. Complete and utter FML.
Today is my daughter’s first birthday.
There’s this cantonese saying that a fellow student described to me last week.
Translated, it goes something like
“Even dragon meat has no flavour”
It’s my daughter’s first birthday. I’m going to Mexico on Friday for a wedding.
These two very wonderful things that need wholehearted celebration are just dusted with toxic soot.
In what twisted universe was doing grad school with a baby a good idea? In some miracle alternate universe where I have one of those happy go lucky babies that sleep and eat and don’t mind strange caretakers and don’t get sick seven times in 4 months and are just generally all around chill, and where I am superwoman and don’t need sleep and don’t get migraines and don’t get frazzled by anything.
So that didn’t happen. I have a very intense, spirited child. I need sleep. I get migraines. I get frazzled, especially by all of the above.
Happy, birthday, baby E. You are wonderful. Now go back to sleep, please. I need to get another hour of work done.
…Choose to run deep inner peace circuitry…choose to run deep inner peace circuitry…
I’m not dealing well.